Roaming Towards Myself

Ciao,
Why I’m Leaving?
I’m not leaving because everything fell apart.
I’m leaving because something gentler is calling me.
For a long time now, I’ve been imagining a different kind of life. Not flashy. Not rushed. Not loud. Just slower, quieter, and more intentional.
I picture evenings reading in front of a fireplace while the dogs sleep nearby. Mornings tending a small vegetable garden, hands in the soil, moving at my own pace. Learning French  not because I have to, but because I want to — because I’m curious, because it connects me to a place and a culture I love.
I want days that aren’t dictated by stress or urgency. I want space to think, to write, to notice things again. To live in a way that feels grounded and real.
The last few years brought a series of changes that I didn’t plan for. My kids grew up and moved out. A relationship ended — not gently, but in a way that was deeply hurtful and disrespectful, forcing me to confront truths I could no longer ignore. I was in a serious car accident. And alongside all of that, I’ve been doing the work of caring for my mental health.
All of it forced me to stop and reassess how I was living, and what I was willing — and no longer willing — to accept.
Coming back from my Thailand trip a few days ago, sitting in a taxi on the way home, I looked out at familiar streets and realised something had shifted. It didn’t feel like home anymore. Not in a dramatic way — just a quiet, clear knowing that this was no longer where I belonged.
What I realised is this: staying where I was no longer made sense for who I am now.
So I’m choosing something different.
I’m choosing a life that feels lived rather than endured. One with fewer distractions and more meaning. One where I can open my home to others through a small bed and breakfast, share stories, cook food, write books, and build something that feels personal and human.
This doesn’t feel like running away.
It feels like coming home to myself.
I don’t feel fear around this decision. I feel clarity. Calm. A deep sense of alignment. Like this is the path that’s been quietly waiting for me to notice it.
Some people call it starting over.
I think of it as finally choosing the life that fits.
Con amore,
Deb