There is something very satisfying about navigating foreign airports on your own. Arriving in Chiang Mai by myself felt like a legitimate achievement, right down to finding the right immigration queue and stepping into a new city on my own terms.
Elephants, grief and quiet thoughts
These last 7 days has brought on such a personal shift. Being so hands on with the elephants helped my thoughts to quieten. Kissing and hugging these huge divine creatures is such food for your soul.
My 1st day alone in Chiang Mai. I’ve realised you can’t run away from grief, but you can find calm places to heal that don’t trigger you! Travelling alone after grief is a strategy I am glad I am using.
Finding calm in Chiang Mai
That’s what I’ve found in Chiang Mai. Peace amongst the bustle of this city. An absolute emotional reset.
I feel very grounded. Am I still sad, of course. Being discarded & disrespected is a very hard situation to navigate. Having all your kids move out is hard, car accidents are hard and battling your own mental health is very hard.
But, do I think the universe is pushing my butt to Italy having my house sell in 3 days. Yes. Do I think my hotel cushions telling me my journey is the reward is a cosmic poke…Yes.
The fact I can get anxiety when I have an unknown number call my mobile, yet moving to another country gives me nothing but peace tells me my body and soul are starting to align.
Leaving chaos for calm
I’m leaving chaos for calmness.
I’m leaving 9 to 5 daily grind for an unending adventure.
I roamed the night markets like a little kid unwrapping presents Christmas morning. I felt full of wonder and gratitude.
Starting to feel happy again
I actually spoke out loud & told myself that I was actually feeling happy in that moment, slowly but surely. I let that feeling and acknowledgement sink in for awhile.
My body, my nervous system and my soul needed a total reset. It’s beginning. I’m starting to thrive just not survive.
And I feel so thankful to my family and friends supporting me to continue this journey of my new life. I can’t wait to see the world in my non stop adventure.
There’s something so profound shifting in me that I feel so calm and my smile, that real smile of mine is slowly coming back.
Roaming Towards Myself 
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